http://www.theroot.com/buzz/olympian-gabrielle-douglas-opens-about-bullying
I am fascinated when I am working on a subject that information is brought to my attention that normally I don't encounter. I followed a link to something else and came across this interview, even champions can be bullied.
The hard thing for me was that for a time during junior high, I was a bully. This becomes complex as I did more and more research that many times the bullies started out as the target. Sometimes a person that is bullied turns around and bullies someone else. I call it 'kick-the-dog-syndrome.' For example, someone has a bad day at the office, their boss yells at them, things go wrong, and they have an all around frustrating day. They come home angry and out of sorts and kick the dog. It is this same mentality of taking out frustration and hurt on someone else that perpetuates bully behavior. Another book that I read, The Law of the Garbage Truck goes into greater detail of how to stop dumping garbage on each other. http://weareone-ruth.blogspot.com/2010/10/garbage-truck-experience.html I can't control someone else but I can control myself and how I interact with others. I can check in with my own behavior. Am I exhibiting behaviors of a bully? Am I choosing to slip into old habits of taking my frustration out on someone else? How can I create an atmosphere that lets others know that bully behavior is not acceptable around me? I am finding more and more answers. I would love to hear from others on how they stopped the bullies in their lives.
2 comments:
I recently posted about how I was a bully once.
But I despise bullies. I have for all my life. My son's watched me take down a couple.
But my son takes the cake for how to best handle a bully. He was in elementary school and one of the kids declared that another was not allowed to play with the group. My son looked at the bully and said, "Wait. We didn't take a vote. Raise your hand if Matt can play with us." My son promptly raised his hand and so did the other kids. Although the bully did not.
But here's what was even better... then my son said to the bully, "Ok it's decided. Are you still coming?"
My son's teachers told me this story. They were a little stunned by it.
One other thing I've overheard my son say, this recently: "Lead by example." He's 17 now. I screwed up when I bullied him. But I changed to try to set an example.
My cyber bully is escalating because, no matter what he writes, I maintain radio silence. Yesterday he spent literally hours on my blog like a deer caught in the headlights.
I'm hoping at some point, he'll have to get on with his miserable life and leave me alone.
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