http://www.purposefairy.com/6661/change-your-life-through-the-art-of-self-mastery/
PurposeFairy's last step through me for a loop. No separation, I thought of how hard I worked from being enmeshed. But the results of peace, joy and tranquility does not sound like the consequences of enmeshment. Trying to think this through I considered my journey out of enmeshment with my FOO. In order to survive enmeshment, I dissociated. I put my emotions and opinion in cold storage and attempted to be the little girl they wanted me to be. Counseling encouraged me to reconnect with my emotions and my thoughts. Painful process, by the way. Both counselors set me on a path to individuate (From Free Dictionary 2. To form into a separate, distinct entity.) I worked hard at separating myself. I was not ready to have no sense of separation. Then, I thought about NewCounselor explaining the process I went through. He interlaced his fingers to demonstrate enmeshment. Next, he pulled his two hands a part and making two separate fists for individuation. Finally, he put his two fists together, each with individual boundaries but connected. I saw with my eyes but couldn't quite grasp what he meant. I came up with an image I understood....
Each flower in a bouquet is its own unique self, bunched together, and connected in a shared vase.
6 comments:
Yes, this is a lovely image, so clear, so beautiful. When I read your post, the idea of fists bothered me - although the ocncept was clear, it wasn't beautiful at all! Thanks for the bouquet!
Your way of visualizing is softer and more beautiful, Ruth.
I like the image.
For a theoretical elaboration see Perls, Hefferline and Goodman's Gestalt Therapy (the theory section).
As to the 'everything' in "connected to everything" I think it is important to recognise that these connections are mediated and not immediate.
(I often get in trouble for being heady when I raise this kind of stuff. I continue to raise it because I think it is so important.)
to get comments
Your welcome Toto and mulderfan.
Evan, I welcome your comments any time. I especially appreciate you sharing your knowledge so freely. I have looked up names and information you have suggested in other comments and the experience enriches my understanding. Thank you.
Great to hear Ruth. Glad it has been helpful.
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