Monday, January 9, 2017
Emotions
I was worried with going off my thyroid medicine would toss me back into deep depression. I realized my body feels depressed but my emotions are functioning. In the last two weeks I had highs and lows, I'm feeling all of them. My emotions are varied. I am learning that sad is different from depression. Sad for an identifiable reason, like pointing to a bruise and saying it hurts here. Happy can intermingle with sad. I was sad our dog died but I was relieved she was out of pain and able to run again in Heaven...yes, I believe all dogs go to Heaven. Going off my thyroid medicine is messing with me in several other unpleasant ways. One of the tough ones is having a chill down. The room is normal temperature or even hot and I am shivering like I am barefoot in the snow. My body aches after shivering for 20 or 30 minutes. Blankets help, sometimes I resort to hot chocolate to warm from the inside out. I don't know how to describe this feeling of feeling cold inside no matter what the outside temperature might be. Insomnia is worse. Sleeping is worse. I am craving salt like crazy. I bought a bag of salty corn chips and almost finished them myself within a few days. This is what gets tricky about PTSD and illness and what is normal any way? Oh yea, a setting on the drier. Next week I take the medical test that I went off my medication for to prepare my body to share what is happening inside. I wonder if doctors ever stop to think what will happen to their client when they ask them to endure some of these tests?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You have my empathy, Ruth. Yeah, I wonder if anyone besides an Endocrinologist would even begin to understand how horrible being off thyroid meds truly feels. After I had a total thryroidectomy, I had to wait six weeks before replacement therapy began to ensure all the naturally produced hormones were out of my body and it.was.hell. I had my bathrobe or clothes on and off every five minutes. I called it the freeze/broils. I got puffy as hell and depressed, sluggish and irritable. At least I was somewhat prepared for it but anytime I hear someone discussing their menopause symptoms now I make sure I clench my mouth shut in a tight grin and nod a lot: Menopause was nothing comparatively for me. I went through both with some overlap, back to back.
Of course, because they're so potent replacement meds never exceeds .25 mcg. at a time sooooo....about-well, it doesn't matter how long it took but eventually I got to a level that was acceptable to my Endo as well as me. I don't even know how you're getting out of your own way never mind working. I'll take my decades of being hyper over hypo any day. With the former I got stuff done; with the latter I was done. I hope you don't have to wait too much longer.
Just thought of something-you weren't just taken off your replacement meds all at once were you? As in, no titration down?
TW
Merry Christmas you won't take your medication for the next 6 weeks. This is not a fun game. I have a much deeper appreciation for the proper balance of medications. I will make this. Test in 5 more days. No salt, no fish, no possible sources of iodine. I'm counting the days to get through this.
Thanks for understanding.
Post a Comment