Wednesday, January 1, 2020

I Made It!!!!

My goal this year was to enjoy Christmas.  I did.  I bought and wrapped presents Thanksgiving weekend.  With presents all wrapped, I then decorated the Christmas Tree....took two weeks but that is OK.  The goal was to enjoy the process.  I tire easily when standing so decorating a tree is a challenge.  I put on the lights, waited a couple of days next the garland, then slowly the ornaments.  I backed off from any activity that came with a feeling of dread.  I was surprised that quite a few social activities this time of year I enjoyed when I backed off from the more stressful ones.  I wanted to do so many things that I took a mental black marker and crossed off several, like making Gingerbread houses to do another year.  I don't need to do everything every year.  I crocheted snowflakes, lots of them.  Some were wobbly and not too nice.  Others turned out amazing. 


I marked web pages and took notes since I want to continue this project so that all my grandchildren will have their own snowflake.  I tried these before and they turned into awful messes.  This year I watched a video by Mikey on The Crochet Crowd and he explained it in a way that I understood.  I took off early from work on the last day of school.  I've never done this before.  I wanted to do somethings before the main events all happened.  I actually gave myself time to do what I needed to do.  It was peaceful and set the tone for the next several days of celebrating with family and at church.  I took naps.  I used all the skills I learned in counseling to help maintain self care.  If I felt pressured by myself or others I backed up and decided which of the activities would fulfill my desire for peace and making beautiful memories.  I noticed that memories aren't so beautiful when I am feeling stressed and warn out.  I did it.  I truly and a marvelous time.  I baked huge amounts of bread, cookies and treats giving most of them away.  I enjoyed the smells in the house.  During all this I kept doing my physical therapy that I started in November.  I continued to take care of me.  I am very happy with how I spent my holiday.  I spent the New Year finishing a challenging project, my first crochet animal.  It is much trickier than I expected but I finished tonight.   Crocheted animals are going to be my 2020 challenge to complete 17 different ones before Christmas next year.



Happy New Year, everyone.

1 comment:

TR said...

Dear Ruth,
I am back here after a long break to say Thank You. Thank you for your insight and information about post traumatic stress. I loved reading your thoughts about healing and how seeing things differently helped me to see my own path differently. Happy New Year!
Hugs,
TR