Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Solitude how to connect...

The World is asked to do social distancing.  Some people are struggling.  Interesting thing to me is I am used to spending hours alone.  I don't mind.  I usually go to the store at odd hours so I won't be jostled or approached by other people.  Now, I can go at any hour and people keep their distance, no one considers me rude now.  Here is the weirdness, I really want to be able to go out and hug somebody.  This so unlike me.  I usually prefer at a distance or a simple side hug.  I am beginning to think that the rebellion that my counselor tried to provoke years ago is finally starting to set in.  Great, just when I am supposed to behave is now when I don't want to. 

So today I focused on contacting people on Facebook.  Wrote a few emails and kept my phone by my side so I could answer almost immediately.  I attended a teacher meeting online and by dinner time, I felt better.  I connected without stepping out of my door.  Connections are important.  This is why abusers use our natural need to connect as a way to manipulate, isolate and abuser their victims.  Victims then associate connection with abuse.  Their natural needs become a "bad thing" used to harm them.  It is cruel.  However, as we move away from abusers and find a way to distance ourselves we are better equipped to create an environment where needs can be met and not feel abused.  This process will take practice. Like every behavior, social connection is a skill most people learn as children.  Cool thing, we can learn these same skills as adults.  Cheering for everyone, may you stay safely separated but connected. 


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