Now I've done it

I shoved stuff into one room for over 15 years.  My son-in-law is getting me to listen to Bob Proctor which is a way of thinking that I believe but don't do.  As I listened all weekend to the different speeches, I realized the gap between saying I will clean that room and actually doing it was commitment.  I started pulling things out and throwing things a way and discovering I had boxes in front of empty shelves.  Some stuff I actually want to save.  In one box I found hair from several of my kids first hair cuts.  I am designating the box as "You can throw this away when I die" box....but instead of 3 boxes I am consolidating down to one and pitching some of the stuff without names since I don't know who it belongs to anyway.  I spent the week looking at Mother's Day cards with little hand prints from my now adult children.  I actually shared some of the stuff with a couple of grandkids to let them see things when their daddy was small.  My living room is now a mess.  I am looking at it like a can of worms and wondering how on earth I am going to cram that back in.  Key....throw away more stuff.  Keep what really brings me joy.  I found information from doing a play years ago, it was a miserable experience.  I pitched all the stuff from that.  I don't need reminders of pain any more.  The talks during the weekend talked about digging deeper into your behavior and shifting how you think which in turn will change your behavior.  For this room, it is taking a bunch of shifting.

I also accepted that there was a reason I kept stuff that was sad, mad, and ugly.  Growing up these things were not allowed so my mother would rewrite history.  I would keep the sad, mad, and ugly to prove those things happened.  I needed proof to validate the way I felt.  I don't need to have that proof any more.  I know what happened and I don't need to prove it to anyone.  Throw the stuff away.  It is ok.  I still struggle with the idea I have to prove my perspective is valid.  I am taking Flylady's (http://flylady.net/) suggestion to take pictures of some things and throw the object away.  I have a long ways to go in the cleaning process but the first time in 10 years, I am seeing progress and floor space... amazing. 

Some memories are worth keeping.