Tough week

One of the challenges I faced with mental health was dissociation.  I could totally cut myself off from all emotion.  Before you start thinking this is a good idea, I assure you emotions are what make us human, lovable and colors our world with complexity and light.  Take out emotion and life is gray....all gray.  No darks, no lights, no feeling of any kind.  I didn't get to pick and choose which emotions I felt, they were all gray.  I worked hard at trying to share with my photography professor what that means.  I shot over 600 pictures of gray, I narrowed the list to 100 to show him.  When I took the pictures I held the criteria that changing color saturation in Photoshop was not allowed.  The picture needed to be gray for me to include it in the series.  No highs, no lows, no color.  I am sadden now when people want to wish away emotions because sometimes they are excruciatingly painful.  In my opinion, life without emotion is as close to being a zombie and still be alive.  Living is emotional and embracing the whole range.  Not easy to do but I hope to never return to gray.