Sunday, March 25, 2012

Acid Rain

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.


Physical problems are a nuisance at best and a pain at worse but either way it gets you down. I noticed that once I am down an emotional hit is devastating. Ideally the idea is not to get down in the first place. So often, I heard an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Cliche that works except...when there is not one thing you can do to prevent what is happening.  A rough week compounded by stepping back into my own past.  Reviewed my past years from my new perspective of being a healthier self.  The effects of abuse shower down like acid rain damaging everything it touches. 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acid_rain
Pictures http://uhohacidrain.blogspot.com/

Totally indiscriminate...not raining down on the source but on all around on everything and everyone that I come close to.  Fear of causing others harm by my presence tears at the foundation of every relationship.  NewCounselor is teaching me how to revisit my past and own it as my past.  What I do with it from there is the next several weeks lessons.  I am finding the approach quit different from simply reciting or remembering what happened.  Without emotion I can recite what happened like it happened to someone else.  Now it is much more personal of feeling the feelings that existed but hidden or denied to survive.  I will never be proud of my past but I can learn not to feel ashamed of it.  It is my past and the only one I get.  It belongs to me. 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Powerful...

Judith said...

Terrific post. I too have been feeling emotions I long buried -- I'm doing PTSD therapy -- and it is a very strange road to be on. But I can see how this is different and crucial to my journey towards becoming whole.

Thanks for this post. I'd never thought of acid rain in this way before, and it is a good metaphor.

mulderfan said...

Maybe counselor thinks once you own it your past, it'll be yours to let go. You've shown so much courage so far, I'm confident you'll work through this too.

People tell me I give a great hug...close your eyes...here comes a big one! P/M

Ruth said...

Thanks Rhonda

vicariousrising glad it helped.


Thanks P/M that was an awesome hug and very appreciated.