Setup for Success

Such an awesome feeling.  I thought all week how to describe my experience last weekend.  However, you need a bit of back ground information first.  I was raised in a home where I was setup to fail.  If I happened to be successful, the rules would be changed so that I failed.  If I received a compliment there was a but at the end that negated everything that came before the but.  I saw myself as a failure because my parents saw me as a failure.  Then counseling happened.  The lies, unreasonable expectations, the manipulations were brought under examination.  Sadly, I still set myself up to fail.  It was what I knew.  Two years ago, I read an article about using martial arts as a way to cope with PTSD.  After 10 years of counseling, I was ready to try.  I planned to go for one session at the community Karate class.  When the teacher explained I wouldn't get a belt right away, I responded that I didn't plan to get one at all.  So I began studying Kempo Karate.  After the first year I earned the rank of yellow belt.  I finished two years and last week end I earned my orange belt.  I get very nervous during tests.  One of the required moves is the Kata.  I blew it completely.  Half way through my mind went blank.  I learned two Katas and I scrambled them in my mind.  My teacher understood what happened and during the recheck portion of the test he had me do the first Kata then the second one.  I passed both.  He set me up to succeed.  I worried while I waited that I messed up too many times to pass.  Peace came over me.  If I didn't pass, without condemnation, he would have me try again and again until I succeeded.  The awesomeness of working with my teacher in Karate he sets me up for success.  I feel so awed and cherished from this experience.  I feel like what I do is important and he will teach me so that I succeed and keep on succeeding.  If you use martial arts for PTSD, I hope you have teacher just like mine.