Lately I am a bit irritated with people complaining that life is hard. In my opinion, they are on the wrong planet. We are on a molten rock covered mostly by water whirling through space at a tremendous speed around a burning ball of fire that a flare up at the wrong moment we could be a blackened ball hurtling through space at a tremendous speed. I am a believer that we are sent here to Earth as a testing ground not a country club. However, I also have an understanding of those that are hurt, frustrated and angry when people say we chose our lives of hell. I remember when I had cancer someone told me that I had cancer because I hated myself. Really. Wow. Not only did I have a serious illness that causes the loss of body parts it is my fault for hating myself. I took this in and thought for a moment then replied, "Do you plan to tell a parent of a baby with cancer that the reason their baby has cancer is because the child hates himself?" (By the way, 16 years cancer free.)
I do believe that we came to Earth on purpose. I also kind of figure that Heavenly Father told the spirits waiting to come to Earth that He had a seriously messed up mother that needed some special children and my kids volunteered. My kids have stood by me through a lot of really tough times. They encourage me, delight me, and love me. It was painfully humbling to understand that in some ways I am the worse thing that happened in my children's childhood. I was inconsistent, sometimes distance, sickly, and exhausted. They learned to fix their own bowl of cereal by the time they were 3 years old. They knew that I might take them somewhere and drop them off and not remember where they were. I would promise to do things then not have the energy to carry out my promise. I didn't talk about my childhood. I didn't share memories. I kept them as far away from my family as I possibly could for as long as possible. They took on responsibilities far beyond their years because my broken body couldn't do what needed to be done. My children grew up and moved out before I found out that I had PTSD. I don't believe any of us, my children, myself, or anyone else could possibly grasp the pain and suffering that the body is capable of living through. I like the quote, "We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings have human experiences."
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