Pondering

Sometimes I use pondering as a way to tackle a problem.  To some people, pondering looks a lot like worrying.  I decided the difference to me is that when I worry I don't plan to do anything about what I am worried about.  When I am pondering I allow the subconscious to gnaw on a problem and the conscious mind keep it nattering away so it doesn't get lost in the recesses of my mind.  There are some really deep dark holes in there.  When I come across information that can be added to the pondering I reshuffle information so I can look at it in a different way.  I am discouraged by the behavior of a person I need to work with.  It is all the signs of working with my mother.  I am not amused.  Some how I missed my sister's Sunday blog and didn't read it until today when I was pondering this problem.  https://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2018/08/26/a-bit-of-inspiration-60/

Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation

because He’s trying to change your heart.

What can I learn from this experience?  I confirmed with another person that the challenge isn't just me.  I am very aware that I am ultra-sensitive to some behaviors.  Non-verbal communication is more important to me that words.  I get all this.  How can I reframe this situation from one that is negative and turn it to a positive situation.  I know it can be done.  I have done it myself more than once.  I am going to look at this from a number of different perspectives.  I am going to use my words, try new ways of interacting, and choose healthy boundaries for me.

During counseling one of the more interesting techniques is reframing a situation.  It is turning things around and looking at it from different perspectives.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_reframing

Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives. In the context of cognitive therapy, cognitive reframing is referred to as cognitive restructuring.

I am going to look at my situation as an opportunity to set healthy boundaries, make healthy choices for myself, and do the best I can to be a positive influence on a situation.