He loves me

Self approval and my relationship with Christ.

****This may be triggering for some people.****


Religion plays a big role in my life and how I feel about myself.  The journey was not easy.  Complicated by people that used religious knowledge to twists things around to hurt me and compound my suffering with projected guilt.  I learned a few things from these pseudo religious type. 

When there is chest beating and pointing to the Honor thy Father and Mother, they forget about:
Eph. 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
 Lev. 19:29  Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.
Matt 18:6  But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

When they demand forgiveness, they forget about:
 Psalm 38:18 For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.
 Lev. 6:4 Then it shall be, because he hath sinned, and is guilty, that he shall restore that which he took violently away, or the thing which he hath deceitfully gotten, or that which was delivered him to keep, or the lost thing which he found,
Matt 3:8-10

 8 Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:

 9 And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.

 10 And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

Sometimes they will use one verse and neglect to read the second verse:

Matt 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

The mote and the beam is totally ignored:

Matt 7:3 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

If their forgetting thing isn't enough, new scriptures are made up to suit themselves:

'Cleanliness is next to godliness' is not in the Bible and does not refer to house work.  

I am also amazed by those that declare they know the mind of God:

"God would not be happy with you for doing that...."  I am now in the mind set of asking, "Did He talk to you recently?"  

For many years, I would not read my scriptures because of the distortions used to hurt and humiliate me.  However, I never forgot the Lord.  I knew He was mindful of me.  Recently, I started reading them again with a direct purpose of understanding His perspective on abuse and recovery.  The picture I took of the mine shaft reminds me there is no place so deep that my Savior can not find me and pull me back in His fold.  He loves me and searches the Earth to find me and bring me home to Him.  When they share the story of Him leaving the 99 to look for the one I don't envision Him coming back all neat and tidy with a lily white lamb. My view is Christ coming back scratched and tattered with a triumphant smile and a ragged filthy lamb that He cleans and heals until no evidence of damage is left. In my own understanding, I feel Christ's approval of my progress.  My own self approval is based on my belief that I am meeting His standard. 

There is no hole so deep that Christ can not find me.