Coping with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: A guide for families by Cheryl A. Roberts
ISBN: 978-0-7864-4974-3 http://mcfarlandbooks.com/book-2.php?id=978-0-7864-4974-3
It might be seen that distorted thoughts and distorted thinking often incorporate words like could, should, might, ought to, and have to. These are expressions of moral imperative and suggest that an individual is demanding a high level of expectation that, in most cases, the individual would consider inappropriate in any other person. In other words, it is not uncommon for PTSD survivors to acknowledge that any other person need not feel guilty or worried, but then expect themselves to meet the higher standard. This too can be pointed out as an example of irrational thinking, and is part of the "normalizing" of feelings that counselors often provide, for example by noting that anyone would feel frightened in such a situation. This normalizing helps the individual to treat him or herself as simply another human being, no stronger or better or worse than another.
KavinCoach presented it a different way. He asked me when I was going to fire my 'nasty boss.' I was puzzled how I could fire my boss. He chided me, "You know the one. The one that expects you to be 15 minutes early to work, to work at least 15 minutes late. After a long day, cook a nutritious meal for your family, give service, care for those around you. Do this all cheerfully...." I cut him off. The 'nasty boss' he wanted me to fire was me. I expected more of myself than I would ever believe anyone should have to do. I emotionally beat myself up over the slightest mistake. I held a standard for myself that I couldn't possibly meet. He let me know that I was totally unreasonable with myself. I am still working at firing that 'nasty boss' but it is tough because I get emotionally rewarded when I pull off the impossible. I just need to realize that sometimes it is just not worth it. Treat myself with the same tolerance and compassion that I would treat someone else. I am still trying to grasp that I need to be my own best friend.
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| Gamble on myself |
3 comments:
"Firing the nasty boss" what a fantastic way of looking at it!! I need to fire my nasty boss too! Thanks Ruth :)
How? How do I fire the nasty boss that lives inside my head? I want to. I NEED to. I just don't know HOW. If you figure that out, please let me know!
Thanks,
Charity
Some posts coming up on that subject. Not feeling like I am doing it very well right now so writing is a bit of a challenge. I still struggle with keeping the nasty boss fired. Thanks for your comment, unraveled part of what I am working on.
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