Monday, February 4, 2013

Lies and more Lies

"Destiny is not a matter of chance,
it is 
a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for,
it is a thing to be achieved."




A back ground of lies makes it difficult to recognize the choices available.  If a door is called a wall a child will believe this.  Causing great confusion when talking to someone else that calls the door, a door.  A child believes what they are told no matter how wrong or distorted.  A child gains understanding of their self from their parents first then followed by teachers or other adult in their lives.  Destructive adults in early years of a child makes it difficult for a child to separate their parents distorted images from who they really are.  A specific example: When I was in seventh grade I took art.  The teacher evaluated us at the end of the semester to determine if we could take another semester of art.  I had leanings towards perfectionism then and tore a hole in my drawing paper trying to erase mistakes.  Each project did not turn out to my satisfaction so I ended up damaging my work trying to correct a perceived error.  The finished project did not turn out well.  The teacher told me at to never take another art class because I was terrible at art.  I believed her.  I never took another art class until my job required me to take Photography so the professors could talk to me about the problems in the digital dark room, a computer lab designed specifically for Juniors, Seniors and grad students in photography. I dove into the class and loved it.  I entered one of my prints into the freshman photo show.  The art director commented, "So you are an artist."  I denied it.  I couldn't possibly be an artist, my teacher told me so.  The greatest challenge I face, I suspect others face it too, are the lies I was told as a child.  I would get very excited about things when I was a child.  I was told to calm down and not be so excitable.  Squashed like a bug for too much excitement.  I learned as an adult this is enthusiasm, when channeled enthusiasm can move mountains.  It is the energy that pushes me through projects.  Gets me moving out of a rut.  I am enthusiastic.  I get excited about the things I do.  I do not need to damp it down or extinguish it.  I can use it to add turbo-boosters to any project.  I was lied to as a child.  Enthusiasm is not a bad thing.  One of the things I love about myself is how enthusiastic I can get over a project event or activity.  I can choose to allow my enthusiasm to shine through.  My drawing teacher helped me to succeed in drawing by taking my eraser away.  

My drawings and my teacher
 

2 comments:

Calibans Sister said...

Enthusiasm is a wonderful quality. It moves mountains. Only cynics would shame someone for being enthusiastic. And you are obviously an artist. hugs, CS

Judy said...

I've always been told I'm way too intense.