Bad plan

My brain is fried from riding for 12 hours in the car coming home.  Had a great time but really tired.

I did all the wrong things by doing what  Ruthless Compassion said not to do.  I was trained to be a doormat.  Undoing all my bad habits takes time and loving myself.  Sharing what I need first required me to know what I needed.  I started with the basics.  Changing how I behave, changes how I am treated. 

Ruthless Compassion Institute 

http://marciasirotamd.com/

I think it's a tendency of many women to tolerate hurtful or disrespectful behavior in the attempt to be supportive to their man & what's worse, they fail to get appropriately angry when the man, rather than being appreciative of her sacrifice, takes her for granted & then behaves even more unacceptably toward her.
Just the other day, one of my patients recounted a story in which she went along with something that she wasn't really happy about, in the belief that she "should" be nice to her partner, & maybe also out of fear that her man would leave if she said, "No way, I'm not down with this!"
Then, when her attempts to be understanding & accepting were thrown back in her face, (when her partner promised to make it up to her & then fell through on that promise) instead of saying, "Hey, this is not OK!," she tried too hard to be conciliatory, expressing her hurt & disappointment in the mildest, least confrontational manner possible.
She was trying not to be "unreasonable," even when her partner had been extremely unreasonable toward her. Well, it didn't work. As soon as she let him know that what he'd done wasn't cool, he cut off all communication.
She kept asking me, "Did I do something wrong?" but the truth was that her guy, like many guys, wasn't grateful when his partner allowed him to get away with bad behavior.
In fact, I suspect that when women are too nice, it encourages men to be disrespectful. I suggested to my patient that in fact, she could have been a lot more angry at her fellow, for breaking a date with her to go meet with an old school friend, & then falling through on his promise to make it up to her by taking her out a few nights later.
Women often give up their valid needs & hold back their anger for fear that they'll alienate their partner, but they shouldn't have to. A loving, respectful partner wouldn't put a woman in a position where she'd feel obliged to give up her needs to please him, & he'd be willing to hear his partner's needs & feelings if he upset her.
Women need to see that there's no advantage in going along with things that they don't like or holding back their valid anger when their partner behaves badly.
If they have a reasonable, caring partner, he'll understand when they let him know that he's asked for something unacceptable, & he'll tolerate her anger toward him if he ever puts her in a position to feel this way toward him.