Sunday, September 2, 2012

Strength comes

"Strength does not come from winning
Your struggles develop your strength.
When you go through hardship
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength." 

Every day that I woke up, got out of bed, and got dressed was one more day that I did not surrender.  For several years that was all I did.  For three years, there was no end in sight.  I just kept getting up and getting dressed. On a good day, I would wash dishes.  On a not so good day....I was thankful that the bread was in a cupboard low enough that even the youngest could make a sandwich.  Those were dark years, because I measured my strength against healthy others, I considered myself weak and useless.  I didn't understand how just getting up meant I didn't surrender.  I didn't know the mental tenacity that built up over years of just getting up one more day.  I compared myself to others that did not walk my path, did not have my health problems, and only on their good days.  Depression blankets hope or any positive feeling, smothering life but every day that I got up shoved the blanket back just a bit.  I didn't realize the strength that grew just getting up.  I didn't realize that each day that I took even a baby step kept me moving towards life.  Depression still challenges me but no longer rules my life.  Strength grew when I least expected it. 



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