Wednesday, May 27, 2015

I don't watch the show

I don't watch the show 19 children and counting.  I never cared for it.  Too complicated to explain...just bugged me on so many levels.  Now, the news comes out the older brother was molesting the younger sisters....I felt no surprise by the information.  Two bloggers very adequately covered some of my concerns. 

https://trendyand2kids.wordpress.com/2015/05/23/dear-duggars-sincerely-me/

thejoyparadeblog.com/what-does-the-josh-duggar-dialogue-say-to-assault-victims/

The only thing I find I could add to their comments is how often people will accuse victims for being unforgiving because they no longer want to be around the people that harm them.  I am thankful to my counselor that corrected my thinking.  I do not have to love my abusers.  I do not have to associate with my abusers.  I can choose a healthy distance and healthy boundaries because the other person shows repeatedly that they are not healthy.  I believe firmly that forgiveness does not remove consequences.  The neighbor pedophile was sent to prison.  I am glad someone had the courage to stand up to him.  Sadly that person was murdered.  Terrible things happened.  Putting the man in prison stemmed the flow of filth and degradation.  I understand that Heavenly Father will deal justly with that man's after life.  I am still paying the consequences of his actions.  Forgiveness eased my burden but does not lessen his responsibility for his behavior.  I realize this is a hot topic.  I feel it is tragic when a victim is put down or ignored or criticized for wanting to put as much distance as possible between themselves and their abuser.  To me, forgiveness is a gift I give to myself.  Consequences are long reaching and not wished away.  I believe in Christ and His fairness.  There are times when one pays consequences here and now.  Part of repentance is restitution. 

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