Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Toughest Hood

If you are not a Mom, you may want to skip today's post.  If you are interested in a different point of view about MotherHOOD.....read on.

My daughter and daughter-in-law shared this link - It's time to tell the truth....
http://lisajobaker.com/2013/11/its-time-to-tell-the-truth-about-motherhood/
A young mother speaking out on all the 'little-bits-of-information' left out of the 'Congratulations-you-are-going-to-have-a-baby-and-change-your-life-FOREVER.'

There is a dark side of sharing the unvarnished brutal truth about lack of sleep, baby illness, terror of raising children....building on all the negative creates a monster of fear that steals all the joy of anticipation into an unknown world of parenting.  My mother taught me the 'horrors' of what might happen to teenage mom's, every horror story of giving up your life for this little alien that won't love you when they are teenagers.  The terror I felt about having my first child was so intense that I refused to have a baby shower.  My father-in-law bought the crib and the dresser but I refused to set it up or prepare anything.  The 'terror-truth' I was told blocked all sense of anything but impending doom.  I know the nurses must have wanted to grab our sweet son and hang on to him when they asked me, "What are you dressing your baby in to take him home?" My first stunned response was a bewildered, "I get to take him home?"  I had NOTHING, not even a baby blanket.  I was so afraid that I couldn't take him home because of something wrong, I didn't prepare for the possibility that all was well and I could take him home.  The hospital gave me a baby blanket and t-shirt from the hospital to take my baby home in.  Nursing was a nightmare.  I was so tense that it was a real struggle at first.  I messed up.  I lost sleep.  I got angry.  I became depressed.  I felt isolated.  I became invisible.  "oooo look at the baby." No mention made of the women holding said baby.  I tried talking to my mother....she rewrote history that everything she experienced was wonderful.  At the time, I didn't understand how much my mother lies.  So, I make baby blankets.  LOTS OF THEM.  I give them to random people that I don't even know their name but they are pregnant.  So I make baby blankets so they have something to bring the baby home in.  Each blanket is made with hope that they will see what a beautiful precious short time babyhood is.  However, babyhood makes motherhood the toughest HOOD around.


Such cute little toes.
I love nap time
Just the beginning. 



1 comment:

mulderfan said...

I had a great pregnancy then "messed up" by having an emergency C-section. I also messed up by having a girl. I guess I was repeating the mess up of being born a girl myself.

It's nice to look back and realize we were not the ones who messed up!