Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Not My Circus

Every time you feel yourself getting drawn into other people's nonsense, repeat these words: not my circus; not my monkeys....
I have some awesome Facebook friends, some I have never met in person, however they cheer me up, challenge me, and remind me how beautiful the whole World is.  

I raised 6 children.  There were many, many years of this was my circus and my monkeys.  They are all now raising their children and I get to visit their circus.  So many years of juggling schedules, walking a tight rope, and generally trying to keep things going in every ring.  I failed often.  My body couldn't keep the pace.  I don't miss the sunup to sundown race to get everything done.  I am not sorry I did what I did....don't get me wrong.  I like the stage I am in now.  I like playing and visiting and not being responsible.  Yup.  I like being a grandma.  I love my kids and my grandkids.  I am blessed with an awesome DH.

I honed my talents for juggling a million different things but at work when things are getting a little crazy, I remind myself, it is not my circus; not my monkeys.  I like being an assistant to teachers.  I am not responsible for their choices. 

I moved out of Arizona for many years.  When we moved back, my kids pointed out that I acted weird at my parents house.  (I love kids ability to cut to the chase and say exactly what is on their minds.)  For a time, I was sucked back into the craziness that I moved away from in the first place.  Took several years of counseling before I started to grasp that my parents were both adults and I was not responsible for meeting their unspoken demands.  I was not responsible for making them comfortable.  It was not my job to take care of 2 people quite capable of taking care of themselves.  I finally reached the stage of when a problem arises I don't feel a need to 'ride-to-the-rescue.'   I like the turn of phrase: Not my circus, NOT my monkeys....





4 comments:

mulderfan said...

I learned my family of origin was a train wreck waiting to happen and me lying down on the tracks would do nothing to stop it. The dysfunction was likely there before I was born. I didn't create it and even if I could fix it, your right, it's not my circus!

Ruth said...

Thanks mulderfan.

jessie said...

I like that saying, Ruth!

Ruth said...

Me too Jessie.