Friday, March 7, 2014

Switching a Fear based life

So many of us live in fear, rather than living courageously. We make choices out of a desire to avoid things that are frightening or upsetting, as opposed to the desire to live fully & deeply. But those who live fearfully have smaller lives than those who take risks or challenge themselves in some way. We behave timidly in order to avoid suffering, but avoidance increases our suffering as it deprives us of consciousness, choice & power. The good news is that we can start by taking little risks, for example, facing a painful truth or speaking our feelings to someone we trust, & then build on this. The more we practice being emotionally brave, the more we'll be able to do it & the richer our lives will be.
Fear based life begins early in life, reinforced by negative reactions and negative thinking. It is difficult to stop this reaffirming cycle of fear.  In "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" the children and their parents take a boat ride through a tunnel of ever increasing fear until suddenly he shouts, "Stop the boat now."  This wild ride into fear instantly halts.  Caroline Leaf in her book Who Switched of Your Brain?  Explores the way male and female brains work.  One of the sections address specifically how the brain can get stuck in a downward rut.  Her book is well documented and poses several theories on how specific parts of our brains control feeding our fears and keeping the depression going.  The reversal also can happen if we get the switch going the other way.  One small step of change leads to another.  Many sessions of counseling were spent giving me a safe environment for me to be emotionally brave.  I started out with small things and each success lead to opening more ways to succeed.  Courage doesn't start with big issues but many small battles overcome until we trust our own abilities. 

2 comments:

Calibans Sister said...

I think that exhibiting courage to be who we are, in the face of those who would shut us down, is one of the biggest gifts we can give ourselves. As women, as ACoNs. Courage to keep speaking our minds and standing up for our principles.

Ruth said...

That is very true. Thank you Calibans Sister.