Quiet, Please

"quiet"
NOUNS
	quiet
	an untroubled state; free from disturbances
	quiet
	the absence of sound	"he needed silence in order to sleep"; "the street was quiet"
	quiet
	a disposition free from stress or emotion
	quiet
	a period of calm weather	"there was a lull in the storm"
ADJECTIVES
	quiet
	of the sun characterized by a low level of surface phenomena like sunspots e.g.
	quiet
	characterized by an absence or near absence of agitation or activity	"a quiet life"; "a quiet throng of onlookers"; "quiet peace-loving people"; "the factions remained quiet for almost 10 years"
	quiet
	free of noise or uproar; or making little if any sound	"a quiet audience at the concert"; "the room was dark and quiet"
	quiet
	not showy or obtrusive	"clothes in quiet good taste"
	quiet
	in a softened tone	"hushed voices"; "muted trumpets"; "a subdued whisper"; "a quiet reprimand"
	quiet
	(of a body of water) free from disturbance by heavy waves	"a ribbon of sand between the angry sea and the placid bay"; "the quiet waters of a lagoon"; "a lake of tranquil blue water reflecting a tranquil blue sky"; "a smooth channel crossing"; "scarcely a ripple on the still water"; "unruffled water"
VERBS
	quiet
	make calm or still	"quiet the dragons of worry and fear"
	quiet
	become quiet or quieter	"The audience fell silent when the speaker entered"
ADVERBS
	quiet
	with little or no activity or no agitation (`quiet' is a nonstandard variant for `quietly')	"her hands rested quietly in her lap"; "the rock star was quietly led out the back door"; "sit here as quiet as you can"

I used a visual thesaurus that put quiet at the center then distributed all the words that are in the thesaurus around the word.  I emailed the very cool picture to myself and the computer trashed it.  The link is http://www.visualthesaurus.com/  I took a picture of it with my Mac so you can see it.  Very cool way to look up a word 

I begin my research by going back to the basic definition then examine the layers upon layers upon layers of emotional baggage attached to a word. 


Quiet is sought after yet repulsive to an abuse survivor.  I was terrified into silence.  My abuser knew it was critical for me to be quiet.  Quiet kept me under his control.  Silence, quiet, no voice is a terrifying way to live.  Once in counseling, I didn't talk about my childhood at first. Finally my counselor asked me, "Tell me about your childhood." 
"It was great, I went to the park and the zoo," I cheerfully responded.
I didn't know my own past.  
The work began in darkness of not knowing my past.  KavinCoach poked, prodded and persuaded me to break years of vowed silence. A brutal silence pact took every bit of courage and my counselor's training to break.  I would practice what I would say all week.  KavinCoach chastised me and encouraged me to speak freely.  We ventured into a topic I didn't practice.  I opened and closed my mouth but no sound came out.  My voice refused to create the words I craved to say.  Silence - oppressive - terrifying - suffocating silence.  Counseling provided a safe place to finally break my silence.  

Peaceful quiet is hard to imagine.