I have rights

One of the essentials in boundaries is deciding what is being protected.  Once I understood what I was protecting, namely me, setting boundaries became much easier.

I am reposting my list.....I highly recommend making your own Bill of Rights.

I have the right...
My list was adapted from the list in this book  Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them
Written in January 2010

I have the right to be treated with respect.

I have the right to chose not to take responsibility for anyone else's problems or bad behavior.

I have the right to feel emotions - anger, excitement, sad, glad, afraid, courageous, etc. and the responsibility to accept the consequences of any actions brought about by those emotions. 

I have the right to say no.  When I say "yes" to one thing I inherently often have to say "yes or no" to something else that is not always obvious. 

I have the right to make mistakes and the responsibility to take the consequences for those mistakes.

I have the right to my opinions and convictions.  Just because I have them does not mean I should always state them.  Sometimes the best reply is silence but I need to keep in mind that with some people silence means agreement.  The art of disagreeing without being disagreeable is on going training.

I have the right to determine when someone is yelling at me or not.  I am aware that I am hypersensitive to negative reactions but if I feel someone is yelling at me I will respond that way. 

I have the right to change my mind and the responsibility to take the consequences. 

I have the right to ask for emotional support or help.  I have the responsibility to work on things myself.  Learned helplessness is as unhealthy as never reaching out to anyone. 

I have the right to negotiate for change. The responsibility to express myself to the other person.  The other person can not read my mind. 

I have the right to protest what I believe to be unfair treatment or criticism.  Being defensive can sometimes make a situation worse.  In protesting unfair treatment I need to keep in mind who I am talking to.  Some people are not healthy enough to engage in this type of conversation.  In these situations, I have the right to walk away.

I have the right to have friends. I have the responsibility to recognize that friends take time and energy which I have a limited supply. 

I have the right to ignore advice.  I have the responsibility to take the consequences of ignoring that advice.  I recognize that the source should be considered when I am considering someone else's advice.

I have the right to take breaks that can be beneficial when working on large projects.

I have the right to throw away or give away things that I no longer want or need. 

I have the right to lock the doors or not lock them depending on how I feel at the time.

I have the right to have extra food in the house. 

I can add to this list when ever I feel the need.

We build fences around property we own.  Emotional boundaries are built around the emotions we own.  I struggled with boundaries when I put my emotions in a box.  Recognizing what I want to protect makes setting boundaries a natural progression to protecting my rights as a human being.