Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Empowerment

People misunderstand the nature of empowerment. They think that to be empowered is to be aggressive, as opposed to quietly assertive. They think that getting angry is a sign of being empowered, when in some situations, being easy-going indicates a true warrior. People mistakenly think that empowerment is about being noisy, yelling & shouting to make your point, but in fact, this is a sign of feeling inadequate & compensating with noise. True empowerment isn't violent; it's confident. It isn't about being pushy or insistent; it's about being grounded, open & flexible. When you're empowered you see the truth, rather than engaging in magical thinking, avoidance or denial, & you make reality-based choices. You take action & you don't worry about what other people might think. True empowerment isn't about waiting for approval or understanding; it's doing what you have to do b/c it's the right thing to do. It's tolerating being judged or misunderstood b/c true self-worth has nothing to do with external approbation. True empowerment makes a person extremely productive, but not compulsive; the empowered person is calm, content & clear-eyed. True empowerment starts with self-love, self-compassion, self-awareness & consciousness.
One of the definitions I encountered for empowerment is this one from Ruthless Compassion.  I quote her often because she makes me think about things from a new angle, a different perspective.  I don't always agree with her but I always think about what she writes.  I am glad I Liked her on Facebook.  Empowerment is a subject first introduced to me early on in my counseling.  KavinCoach talked often about empowering me....getting me to recognize that I am a force to be reckoned with....I have power now but I kept giving it away.  To say I was a little bewildered by this talk of power would be a massive understatement.  This feeling of power took a long, long time to start to envision.  Even longer to start to feel.  Only one of my personalities had any sense of personal power and the rest of my personalities were afraid of her.  Integration my feelings of empowerment seemed to vanish, I felt so vulnerable and inadequate.  Like a baby bird just hatched, I felt small and fragile.  The beautiful thing about integrating was I began to grow and mature in ways that I should have done as a teenager.  Yes, I am a 50+ teenager.  Frightened me for awhile but now I am starting to recognize it is during the teenage years that person learns how powerful they are and what weaknesses exist.  With empowerment, comes a sense and feeling of vulnerability.  It is a far more complex feeling than I ever expected.  I am feeling empowered more and more frequently and like any teenager I am a little clumsy with it from time to time.  I love learning about empowerment, the path to thriving. 

4 comments:

Judy said...

I submit my definition of insistent is different. I wouldn't lump it with pushy. Pushy is... well, pushy. I think being insistent is vital. NM calls me rabid because I'm insistent. I've been called compulsive, and sometimes I feel compulsive, because I'm insistent I hold true to my truth... Sorry... I probably shouldn't comment. My brain is fried. However, this is what popped into my head, and I don't think I'll remember it by Saturday when we have Sister Therapy. :-)

Ruth said...

I like this point. I am glad you commented. Thanks.

Evan said...

I agree entirely and want to add that empowerment can also embrace uncertainty.

TR said...

Words like power and empowerment have evolved to mean something else. When you strip away all the layers one is left with the essentials of the word. I'm finding this to be the case with words that have been for years in my head been labeled good and bad.

Great post and reminder of what empowerment can be.

xxoo TR