Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Doctors

You know you have seen too many doctors when I can totally predict exactly how the appointment is going to go.  You come in. Fill out paperwork.  Wait in one room then another.  Talk briefly to the doctor and then be told they are sending you for tests.  I really like my doctor that sends me for the tests first then we just discuss the results.  I understand that some people go in for the smallest ache or pain and want instant feel good, so the first visit is a screening process.  I am kind of used to not feeling good.  Stomach problems plagued me all my life.  Hearing loss started years ago.  Sleep apnea was confirmed.  Thyroid packed up and quit.  I joked with a friend of mine that the reason people over a certain age talk about their doctors all the time is because that is what you do All The Time.  At one time in my life, I was seeing 5 different doctors on a regular basis.  I believe we were thrilled as spirit children finding out we would come to Earth to get a body.  I, for one, didn't understand that I would get a cheap shot body. I remind myself with all the problems I have, there are so many that struggle with much worse.  So now, I wait for the call that sends me for an MRI.  I started counting how many MRIs I have had.  My first one was about 1987. I passed out on a regular basis and decided after my last child was born to track down the problem.  I searched for a medical reason.  I was inspected, detected, tested, poked and examined in so many different ways.  At the earliest time my doctors suggested that counseling might be helpful.  I was furious that they implied that my health problems were all in my head.  Now after 10 years of counseling I better understand how a sad, hurting spirit can cause pain to the body.  But I also learned that a hurting body can cause your spirit to be sad.  When my thyroid quit, the doctor at the hospital asked me why I didn't notice how tired and depressed I felt.  I laughed....how would that be different than how I already felt from depression?  Mind, body, spirit the human triad that one effects the other.  Mind over matter works.  I also learned that "If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."  I have friends that just had surgery.  I have friends that battled health problems everyday.  I have friends that depression is an uphill battle no matter which direction you go.  I have friends that each understand that challenges I face every day.  Most days, I don't talk about it, but it is always there.  I am waiting once again.  There aught to be some snazzy music playing in the background like they do in Jeopardy.  Thanks to everyone that have posted encouraging words.  I appreciate knowing that you care.  Have a beautiful day.

Hmm Hmmm there has to be something good in this murky mess.


6 comments:

Tundra Woman said...

Oh Ruth, I do hear you: Once you get on that "Specialist Treadmill" it becomes just crazy.
OTOH, the tumor needs a look for sure and there are some things that are beyond the scope of a Primary. My thoughts remain with you-this is a period of such uncertainty. Once the "Fact Finding Mission" is complete I'm certain you'll decide which option is best for you. Like so many other challenges in life there just isn't a one-size-fits-all "answer" or solution.
Best Wishes,
TW

Vanci said...

Ruth,
I'm hoping for speedy information for you and fast determination of the best path.
Waiting without knowledge is sooooo hard. Good thing you are sooooo strong. :)

Love,
Vanci

Anonymous said...

Ruth, Just sending you love and support. I just wish that tumor would would disappear without causing you anymore suffering.

Vanci, I hope you're feeling better, too. You're in my thoughts, too.
Love, Brace

jessie said...

Saying an extra prayer for you tonight, Ruth.

Ruth said...

Thanks TW, next on the list of things to do...MRI. Then I will get choices. thanks

Thank you Vanci. Waiting sucks...

Me too Brace...unfortunately it didn't.

Ruth said...

Thank you Jessie. Prayers are appreciated.