Saturday, January 12, 2013

Enduring

Importance of enduring.  

I know that some people put enduring at the end of a discussion because of the scripture 'endure to the end' sounds like something to do until the end.  But to me, enduring is sometimes something I need to do at the beginning, middle, and end of a problems.  Sometimes enduring is what I do until I get to a new understanding that will lift me from where I am at to where I need to be.  I don't have a recipe on how to do this.  I collected many ideas together that I will share.  I was taught that different things work at different times. My theory is the more ideas and tools I have available to me the better my chances are to make it through another day. Sometimes enduring means I can't change my circumstances right now so I need to accept where I am at or it might be that setting appropriate boundaries are needed to endure a relationship.  This poem by Reinhold Niebuhr comes to mind:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

This poem plays a vital roll in my thinking.  

Definition endure:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/endure

transitive verb

1: to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in : suffer <endured great pain>

2: to regard with acceptance or tolerance <could not endure noisy children>

intransitive verb

1: to continue in the same state : last <the style endured for centuries>

2: to remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding <though it is difficult, we must endure> See endure defined for English-language learners »


http://www.thefreedictionary.com/endure
endure [ɪnˈdjʊə]vb
1. to undergo (hardship, strain, privation, etc.) without yielding; bear
2. (tr) to permit or tolerate
3. (intr) to last or continue to exist
endure
verb
1. experience, suffer, bear, weather, meet, go through, encounter, cope with, sustain, brave, undergo, withstand, live through, thole (Scot.) He'd endured years of pain and sleepless nights because of arthritis.
2. put up with, stand, suffer, bear, allow, accept, stick (slang), take (informal), permit, stomach, swallow, brook, tolerate, hack (slang), abide, submit to, countenance, stick out (informal), take patiently I simply can't endure another moment of her company.
3. last, live, continue, remain, stay, hold, stand, go on, survive, live on, prevail, persist, abide, be durable, wear well Somehow the language endures and continues to survive to this day.
Proverbs
"What can't be cured must be endured"



But I also recognize that what I thought I had to accept wasn't always true.  For years I was told that my mother is doing the best she can and I had to love her.  My counselor let me know that I don't have to love her and I needed to set appropriate boundaries.  Enduring my relationship with my mother is simple yet complicated by emotions I am just now understanding.  Writing about enduring would people be reading it thinking that I am going to tell them some magical mystery?  To me there is nothing magical or mysterious about putting my head down and just taking one step after another.  I used to go to girls camp and I went on the "baby" hike.  There were always one or two girls that were in the back that struggled to make the hike.  Some had physically problems, some felt it was just too hard due to lack of experience with hiking, I persuaded them to get past the point that would qualify them for their camp hiking badge.  I did it by setting much shorter goals, "You can make it to that big rock you see," and encourage them to keep moving.  Once they really sat down in a comfortable spot getting them to move again was impossible.  Endurance has no magic powers other than keep moving forward.  There is no recipe, what works for one person won't work for someone else.  It is not concrete so I can't take a picture of it but endurance was the beginning of beating suicidal thoughts.  If I can endure this nightmare one more night. If I can get out of bed and move to the couch.  If I can sit at the table and have the kids bring me the ingredients for dinner they will get dinner one more day.  Beating suicidal thoughts takes thinking past the no hope point, even if it is only five feet.  I think what triggered my thoughts so heavily is someone on another blog posted another person's suicide note.  It rocked my world because I could have written that note before counseling.  To me the first step out of darkness is being willing to endure the dark until I can get to a lighter place.  Counseling taught me more tools to use.  Endurance kept me going long enough to learn them.  Just as Satan's most powerful tool is the wedge of doubt, Christ's admonition to endure gives people enough time to find a way to keep heading towards Him.  Once people stop, getting them to move again is almost impossible.

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