Saturday, January 26, 2013

How to handle criticism

I have followed Elizabeth's blog for some time now.  She is a photographer teaching other people how to run their own business.  She is talented, caring person.  These are the headlines from her article.  I recommend taking time to review her post.



Elizabeth Halford Photography {the blog}
http://www.elizabethhalford.com/personal/how-to-not-get-hurt-by-criticism/

How to not get hurt by criticism
Posted: 23 Jan 2013 11:19 PM PST
“You have to take the good with the bad and I’m a songwriter so I stay sensitive. I have to live with my feelings on my sleeve so that means I can’t harden my heart and I get hurt a lot but I’ve learned to take all that.” -Dolly Parton on Good Morning America
1.} Are they right?
2.} Consider the source.
-however-
It’s really important to align yourself with someone who can give you valuable constructive criticism.
3.} Have compassion
4.} You don’t have to respond
Nothing shuts a bully up like silence.
5.} Manage your stress
6.} Sleep on it
7.} Lastly…
Try to remember that criticism only reprsents one person’s point of view.
Look at the most influential people. They receive gargantuous heapings of criticism. Some bring it on themselves. For others, it simply comes with the territory.
If you’re trying to make everyone happy, you’ll make no one happy.


     A totally different perspective was shared by one of my photography professors. He told me to go out and find someone that didn't like my photographs. The opposition would help me to hone my skills as a photographer. I learned to cherish his criticism. When I could meet and beat his expectations, I created images that far exceeded what I could imagine.

    On the other hand, I encountered those that no matter what I did, they will pick out the slightest error. Or more strangely the ones that what ever you say, the say the opposite. Twist and turns that make conversation weird. I think I was drawn to Elizabeth's post because it is a step by step process of evaluating negative in put. As long as I can remember, I was bathed in negative criticism. If I cleaned the bathrooms clean enough then I received criticism for not doing it fast enough.  If I was clean enough and fast enough then I used too little or too much cleanser.  If I complained, I was reminded that she was just trying to help me be a better person.  It didn't work.  She ground me down until I felt useless and hopeless.  Fortunately, I have a tenacious spirit that never says quits.  No matter how I felt knocked down I would get up again.  I learned something else too.  There are people that will point out ways for you to improve because they really do want to see you excel.   And there are those like crabs in a pot that don't want anyone else to be ahead of them.  I am learning to discern the difference. 


Same yet different

2 comments:

Judith said...

Constructive criticism is even harder to give than receive, I think. So few people have the skill of being able to balance the right amount of caring with useful feedback. It's great you had a professor who was adept at it.

Ruth said...

I was blessed with several. I also came to them with the attitude of how can I improve and they presented the ideas as ways to change what I do not who I am. I think that is an important aspect.