Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I am doomed

Being organized is just as much mind management as it is time management. 
Pam Young

Pam Young writes several wonderful web pages:

I get her daily quotes.  I think about some very seriously but others explain so much.  My mother tried desperately to get me to be organized.  She couldn't organize herself so I was the one that became her project for organizing.  I failed miserably most of the time.  I was taught that the pinnacle of worthiness was to be organized, orderly and on time.  I was none of these things ~ ever.  I did try.  I just didn't know that from age 5 on, I was hopeless.  Two of the fascinating things about being a multiple is that you do not have one mind to manage and time comes in bits and pieces, an hour here, a couple of days there, but never all in one piece.  Before counseling I gave up on getting myself organized.  Now I recognize, why I am doomed.  With integration I am still trying to take total control of my mind without it being hijacked from time to time.  I love the quote, "Out of my mind, please leave a message."  I wear the T-shirt proudly.  Organization requires several things.  A time continuum.  Time in pieces will not stay organized, like giving parts of a thousand piece puzzle to 5 different people.  Now I have all the puzzle pieces and there is just so much I want to do but I have no concept of how long it takes to do something.  I am also learning that organization is not the pinnacle of worthiness.  There are many other things that are far more interesting to me, enjoying my children, getting to know my grandkids, zumba, writing, photography,  and the list goes on.  I think some organization is helpful to accomplish some tasks but the world spins crazily through space in ordered chaos.  Might be why one of my favorite widgets is Fractal of the Day. I am doomed to never be organized how I was taught but I have every intention of creating a beautiful fractal with my life.  
    

4 comments:

mulderfan said...

I was extremely organized and punctual. Even though these and other qualities were pursued to obtain the approval of my parents, in their eyes, I remain pretty much worthless, unless they need something from me.

Now that I'm retired and have a better perspective on what's important, these "qualities" are beginning to slip. Ask me if I care!

Ruth said...

Sounds like you are taking great pride in reorganizing your priorities. Good for you.

Feminist Voice with Disabilities said...

I'm not a multiple, but I am schizoaffective and I have a terrible time trying to be organized. I'm really, really badly disorganized much of the time. My mother is exactly the same way, and my sister is too. One of my sisters, anyway. I have never really known what is at the root of this problem, but for many years I have been thinking that we all have ADD, and that is the reason we are so messy. I live in a state of total disaster right now. I try to get my apartment neat and tidy and organized, but I am rarely up for that feat. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not the only person with this problem, so you are not alone. I think it is a good step to be able to recognize that being organized isn't the most important thing in the whole world, so we don't have to hate ourselves for the fact that we aren't.

Ruth said...

Thanks Jen.